The Blame Game

I love kids!!

Truly. I love children. They are innocent creatures that have the whole world ahead of them. They have big dreams, wide smiles, infectious laughter, loving hugs, and energy for days. I can’t wait until I have kids of my own. My love for children is why it pains me to see all of these soft parents running around these days.

Yes, I just stepped on someone’s toes. In fact, I stepped on plenty of people’s toes. I happened to read a comment where the person said a childless person’s opinion should matter very little to a parent. That irked me, and that’s one of many problems facing our kids today.

The parents are soft, and selfish.

“I raise my kids how I want!!” Well, how’s that working out for you? Your pride will raise up and say, “IT’S GREAT!!” However, if you really told yourself the truth, then you’d realize you’ve probably made some major mistakes with your kid. Some will be quick to say, “Well, it’s my kid.” Does that make the mistake better? I guess it does.

Not all parents are soft and selfish. I know. Some actually allow people to love their children. After all, it takes a village. At heart, most of the parents I run into love their children unconditionally. However, I don’t like this ‘mind your own child” mindset. I read this way too much. Take this child for example.

That’s nuts! That little girl lost it while her mom stood there and paid in change. LOL, I do find the calm ignoring to be funny. However, what was the mother supposed to do? In this day and age of secret smartphone recording, the mother would have been all over social media as the worst parent on earth. Add the fact that this is a black family, and the comments section would turn into Hiroshima. Still, something needs to be done with this child. I read plenty of sentiments along the same lines.

A whole bunch of people would have torn that backside up!! It appears that flipping out, screaming, and acting a complete nut in the middle of the store is completely unacceptable behavior.

To some.

Whenever I see these type of videos the comments section turns into a battlefield on how to parent, if spanking should be used, and judgement. And rest assured, you will hear more than a couple of parents/people/relatives screaming about mental health. You know what?

That. Gets. On. My. Nerves!!!

Yes, people who use mental health as an excuse for bad behavior irritate me to no end. This is coming from an aspiring clinical psychologist. While Autism and Asperger’s syndrome is very real, not every child tantrum or meltdown is because of these diseases. Quite frankly, it’s a disservice to the children who are actually dealing with these syndromes to mislabel other kids who simply need discipline. It’s completely irresponsible. Yet, so many people do it.

Think about this. Autism, Asperger’s, and Sensory Processing Disorder are already, in some cases severe, syndromes that carry a lifelong label. These children have to learn how to cope with activities we take for granted. Walking into a store, being in control of our emotions (some of us need to work on that), communicating (some adults need work on that too), etc. We don’t think anything of these things because we live a normal life. These children do not live that life. However, they can learn. They can be helped. Throwing these terms around with reckless abandon at kids who clearly do not have symptoms of such is ridiculous. Stop making excuses for unacceptable behavior. Raise your child (even if they have these syndromes) to love and respect one another.

Be. A. Parent.

Now, I’m sure I’ll get ridiculed about this one. After all, I don’t have kids. So, what do I know? Right? My opinion should mean very little to parents.

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5 Comments Add yours

  1. Eddie Gilliam says:

    Well stated. Share this in your thesis for your doctor’s degree. This is a must to share with all parents

    Liked by 1 person

  2. shielders anonymous says:

    I LOVE this article! You have presented very valid points! Some people have no clue what being an effective parent is about and sadly many who don’t know are too prideful to ask for help. Yes I agree that we should want to give our kids the things we didn’t have (while teaching them that they have to earn it because everything will not be handed to them) but we should always give them what we did have as well (some good old fashioned discipline). Why? Because if you truly love your child you would not let them get away with behaviors that will cultivate a dysfunctional adult. I am in awe of some of the incidents I witness out and about and it breaks my heart sometimes because all I see is a parent who doesn’t care about the total wellbeing of their kid. At my age (I’m still younger than most) I wouldn’t dream of back-talking my parents or any adult for that matter so to see kids curse and scream at their parents and nothing is done just baffles me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Jarrod Brown says:

      You and me both. I’m not saying I didn’t have a smart mouth at times, but I knew my limits. Taking out like girl did was a serious no no. My parents taught me to act right.

      Like

  3. Jody says:

    I love this article Jarrod. Parenting is hard. It’s a balancing act in so many ways. But ultimately, the parents have to BE PARENTS. I get very frustrated when children get a mental health label when the behaviors are largely due to environment. It just doesn’t seem like an accurate representation of who the child is. In the video example, I would pick up the child and walk them out of the store without the purchase. Then, when the child is calm. I would talk about using words instead of throwing a tantrum. If the child is able to understand what it means to have dignity and pride in who she is, I would go there as well, as I have begun to do with my 5 year-old. I admire your desire to be a child pscychologist. It’s a tough world and it’s exhausting yet rewarding trying to direct children on positive paths.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Jarrod Brown says:

      Thank you, Jody! I get a bad rap because I can be critical of parents. I know it’s a hard job. I just don’t understand not giving kids boundaries. Teach them, ya know? That’s what we are supposed to do as adults. I see too many kids that get labeled and thrown to the side. They deserve better.

      Like

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