I Wanna Be a Football Player?

I have a tumultuous relationship with the game of football.

That might not sit well with the majority of American seeing as though football is the most popular game in the country. I enjoy watching it. I have certain players who I cheer for (Michael Vick!!). I have teams I absolutely cannot stand (Pats and Steelers can sit down any time now). I would totally attend a professional game for the atmosphere. In fact, that’s something I planned on doing this year, but goodness tickets are expensive. On the non-NFL scale, I attend little kid’s games for support. I’ll even attend a high school and college game. In essence, I like the game. The reason for my internal conflict with the beloved pigskin is due to one question I’ve been receiving as of late.

Are you a football player?

No. No, I am not a football player. In fact, I haven’t played football since 8th grade. That was almost 20 years ago. All I am is a tall guy that likes to lift weights. Even before I got into the weight room consistently I was asked this question. The scenario usually goes something like this.

I’m walking in some public place (mall, WWE event, airport, etc…), and the look of amazement occurs. The look of amazement is a dear-in-headlights look at my size. This is followed by some type of emotional reaction (excitement and awe are the normal instances). I get the once over from head to toe as if to say, “Wow!!! You’re HUGE!!” Yes, I know. When I see this (sometimes I don’t notice), I’m keenly aware someone is admiring my physical stature. Imagine walking down the mall, observing your surroundings, and seeing this.

giphy (1).gif

That about sums up the look of amazement.

After the person has processed my Schwarzenegger-like physical prowess size, a variation of questions will almost undoubtedly be asked.

  1. How tall are you?
  2. Do you play football?
  3. Did you play football in high school?
  4. Do you play for (insert favorite football team here)?
  5. How was the (favorite team) preseason? I’m sure those practices are tough. HAHAHA!!

That’s how the conversation starts, and we are off to the races. In almost every instance, I engage the person in conversation. I mean they are nice enough to speak to me. So, why not return the favor? I have yet to come across a person that asked the question who was doing so with malicious intent (i.e. no one was saying “Wow. You’re really fat!!”). That being said, for as much as I get asked about being in the NFL one would think I had an illustrious career. I’ve been invited to play for the Vikings by an older gentleman in the mall. I was asked about my time with the Dallas Cowboys on an airport shuttle bus. I was also mistaken for a Chicago Bears player at O’Hare Airport by TSA. Some of the agents actually got excited, too.

It’s amusing, to say the least.

I know it’s all in good-natured fun. People aren’t trying to be offensive, and I’m not offended. I’m larger than the average guy. I get it. People will ask questions on areas of life they haven’t experienced. That’s how we learn. I expect I will be asked about my non-existent football career more as I continue to lift. I’ll have the same conversation over for years to come (should God allow me to see it). All of that is okay.

People love football, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

[GIF Credit Giphy]

 

 

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