I have some interesting interactions with people.
Most make me laugh. I can file away a good memory and laugh about it later. There are always those that can upset you, but that’s not worth recalling. Feelings of anger, hurt, and despair resurface, and it puts me in a negative mindset. We should focus on the good things in life. Do you know what my good thing is?
I love people. They are one of the many things that make life grand. As a general rule, we don’t like to be alone. Thus, we have friends, family, and significant others around us. These relationships help us enjoy living much more. The relationships can be simple depending on how we interact with each other. Our interactions with people should be joyous (at the very least cordial). Relationships become complex when we don’t understand one another. How they feel. What they are trying to convey. Their position. The person you know inside and out can become a complete when communication breaks down. This is with people you are comfortable.
Imagine how complicated communication can be with a total stranger. Yet, we do it all the time. Such the case with me a couple of weeks ago at a restaurant.
My girl and I went to Mi Mexico for some authentic Mexican food. Taco Bell is good, but it’s processed kinda not really taco meat. I wanted some rice, beans, and chicken. I ordered the Chef’s Special which is rice, chicken, and cheese. Delicious does not describe how good it was the first time I had it. The next time? Meh. Disappointing, huh? It was only meh because the chicken was bland. So, I learned to ask for extra seasoning on my chicken. This time, when I ordered the response was different.
Me: I would like the Chef’s Special, and can you please have the cooks put some extra seasoning on the chicken?
The server donned a bewildered look on his face. So, my girl said, “Some extra spices?” The server’s face lightened up.
“We have some tabasco sauce.”
“No, sir I mean… I wish I knew what seasoning was in Spanish. Extra spices?”
“Would you like jalapenos?”
“No, I mean dry seasoning. Could you put more of that on the chicken?”
I was taken back by his blunt “no” because Americans are used to the “have it your way” mentality (Thanks, Burger King!). However, I recognized there was an obvious language barrier between the two. I didn’t want to be rude and google translate right in front of the man. So, I was stuck in a communication rut. What to do? There really was nothing I could do but accept the circumstances and go with it.
This was actually a pivotal moment. How would it have looked if I flipped the script on this guy because he told me no? Barring the communication issues, I learned a valuable lesson.
It’s okay to be told no.
It really is okay. Life goes on if we let it. Sometimes we have those moments where we throw an adult tantrum. We didn’t get what we wanted. Our feelings got hurt. Our pride was bruised. Whatever the case may be, we feel we need to defend ourselves. These tantrums are rarely alone, and someone might be there to witness. All because someone told us no.
Thankfully, this was not one of those instances. I understood there was a communication barrier. There was no reason to be rude or act unseemly. It just was what it was. The food was good. I had the money to pay for it. I was enjoying time with my girl. A simple no would not ruin that.
Sometimes hearing no is a good thing.
[GIF credit Giphy]