Bright Lights. Little City.

My favorite time of year is has come and gone. No, I don’t mean summer. She’s still bathing me in her rays of glorious sunshine. Or rain. Whatever the weather holds for that day. No. My favorite part of the summer is something that sends my body into convulsions of delight. Joy flows through my veins, and mostly my stomach. What is it?

The North Dakota State Fair!

That may not sound like fun to you. Maybe it’s the small town kid in me, but the fair always means a great time. Especially eating greasy food I can’t get anywhere else. Fair food is the best. Burgers. Hot Dogs. Chicken. Gyros. Deep fried twinkies. Cookie dough dipped in chocolate. Cheese curds. You think of it, and the fair probably has it. I had bacon flavored cheese curds because Americans are obsessed with bacon. The foods I mentioned don’t even touch the plethora of choices available. And I make sure to partake as much as possible.

If God blesses me to see Monday, I’m going to the gym. No questions.

Besides my food fetish, the fair brings in a lot of different items to enjoy. The commercial buildings are like a craft fair. Homemade products are side by side as people stroll through in shopping mode. I sat in a massage chair that felt like a professional massage. That was much needed after all of the walking we did. There are miniature shows, a kid’s park, and caricatures. There’s much more going on that I can put in words. Of all the activities the fair brings, one tops my list.

People watching.

The fair is a mass of people searching for the next fun thing to do. Friends, families, and romantic relationships stroll down the midway taking in the sights. Games are played, people wait in line for the zipper, and children are shrieking with a scared delight. Bells and whistles fill the air with carnival noises. Smiles are permanent fixtures on faces. People are enjoying themselves. Tears of sadness stream from children’s faces who aren’t ready to leave even though they’ve been there for hours on end. Teenagers romp about searching for the next great two hour relationship. For some of these kids, this may be the only time they get to see their friends during the summer. It was like that for me anyway. Older adults wander through the commercial buildings perusing the many products they won’t buy. Soon, they find the nearest seat to rest their sore feet.

Then, there’s the fashion piece of things.

Fashion is a touchy subject in general. Especially in this age of “I can do what I want.” I don’t have a problem with other people’s clothing choices for the most part. I may not think you match, but sometimes confidence can pull a look off. I respect that. However, I do have a problem when I see body parts that should be covered.

I know. That’s not PC. I’m sure 2016 will say I’m body shaming, but I don’t care. Something has to give. My visit to the fair not only encountered the deep fried twinkie booth (Mmmmmm… Twinkies…), it also came with about 4-5 pairs of butt cheeks in the process. Right out the bottom of their daisy dukes. Your parents really let you out of the house like that?

I don’t want to see that. I turned to scan my surroundings and looked like DeAndre Jordan on more than one occasion.

To the feminists who say, “Well don’t LOOK then!”, have several seats. I couldn’t scan my surroundings without seeing a young girl’s behind in my face. That’s not liberating nor is it empowering for women. It’s not even close to sexy. As a man in 2016, I’m not supposed to say a word about the way a woman dresses. This includes light-hearted compliments not intended to get a phone number. I’m supposed to keep quiet and allow people to do them. They can wear whatever they want. I just have one question.

Do you really know what message you’re sending through your clothes?

It’s bad enough some clothes leave nothing to the imagination. However, the mom jean shorts style is not even close to modest. It’s even worse when you’re walking and you see cheeks bouncing about. Not the face either. What makes this extremely sad for me is there were little girls walking around in super short shorts. I mean junior high school girls 13, 14, or 15 years old. These girls, trying to be cute, have no clue they are sending a super sensual message.

None.

Okay. I’m off of my soapbox. The fair is more than scantily clad adolescent girls (do you realize how much of an oxymoron that statement is?). Another part of the fair that can be fun is the games! The NDSF has a variety of games to play and prizes to boot. You can break bottles with baseballs, try to dunk the clown, do ring toss, and a host of other games. I won a sleeping emoji pillow and a blow-up crayon from my game exploits. You have to be careful, though. Some of those games can’t be won.

Like the basketball hoops.

Unless that hoop is a circle, don’t shoot the ball. It’s that simple. The inner hoop session in me always pulls me to participate. I mean I like shooting basketballs. It’s what I’ve done since early childhood. The problem with this game is the rim is an oval. Thus, most of your shots look like they are going in. However, if you hit any part of the rim, then you’re done. You literally have to tear drop the ball through the net to win. In all of my state fair going years, I’ve never seen a person win that game. The thing is basketball appeals to a lot of people. So, they are going to make money off unsuspecting people. One particular carnival worker was really good at hustling people. I told one of his customers the rim was oval. The response. “Oh yeah, I know that. We’re just messing with him.” Yeah? He’s not messing around taking your money, but that’s none of my business.

All in all, my time at the fair is absolutely fabulous! You’ll have to come check it out. Eat, partake in a delicioius smoothie, and watch some people. It’s the highlight of my summer! Besides my birthday…

Come see the bright lights in this little city.

 

[Gif Credit Giphy]