Breaking Out of the Friend Zone

The friend zone!! Don’t you love it? Not really? Well, I understand you. I was in the friend zone for most of high school. Geez. My formative years were not good for love life.

So, as a follow-up to my mother’s advice, I listened to girls. I talked to them, and got to know them. High school was a bit different than middle school because, well, I stopped doing stupid stuff. No more pulling scrunchies out of hair or wildly messing it up. No more being on the phone for hours with someone silently praying I say “Ok, I have to go!” I still had the loud laugh though. I STILL have the loud laugh. At least it’s acceptable in public now.

Back to it.

One day, a particular girl called me on my own phone line (It was really my granddaddy’s fax line, but nobody faxed us. Hey, it worked. *shrugs*). This girl was fine! This girl is STILL fine! Whew!! Model gorgeous. Okay, I’m back now. So anyways, we had traded notes back and forth. Yes, notes! No texting. No Snap Chat, Facebook, Twitter, Tinder, or any of that other like my picture nonsense. Just a pen/pencil and paper. Try it sometime kids. Anyways (again), the extent of our conversation was limited to what we had written and saying hello in the hallway. I don’t even remember how she got my number. Needless to say, I was like, “Yeah she called!” Then, she started sobbing on the phone. Her and her then boyfriend had broken up. She proceeded to tell me all about it, and I listened and gave advice when I could.

The heart sinking misery of it! Not really. I know she was hurting. For that, I really wanted her to be okay. But I was trying to figure out why in the world she called me. Here I am crushing on this girl, and she’s yakking about this other dude. I don’t want to hear that.

I was officially introduced to the friend zone.

It’s a cold, lonely place. To this day, this girl has no clue I was digging her. Not that it would matter now, but that’s how the friend zone works. The uninterested party isn’t worried about your romantic feelings.

I stayed in the friend zone most of high school with several different girls. My mom said, “Jarrod, girls your age won’t understand you until you get older.” I really didn’t want to hear that. I mean high school love life, albeit not as important as middle school love life, was crucial in my eyes. However, as mother’s usually are, she was right.

One particular college interest would not date me. It was either that or we kept missing each other on the I like you train. Why? I’m not sure, and it certainly doesn’t matter now. Whatever the case, we didn’t date. So, the day we graduated I get a text saying, “I know that we are just friends, but I realize we should have dated.”

Well, fresh beaters and brand new Jordans! Why didn’t you realize this BEFORE we graduated?!! You’re about to move. I’m about to move. And you’re just making this confession now?

The trials of being in the friend zone. *Sigh*

Oh, but my brothers and sisters, there is a way! I said there is a WAY, to make the friend zone work for you. Ready? Here it is…….(dramatic build up!)

Listen.

Let that sink in. All you have to do is listen to your romantic interest’s complaints and do the opposite. I have experience in this area because I don’t know how many girls have claimed me as a best friend. Some would say that’s the pits, but I beg to differ. You see, when a girl trusts you, they will tell you E-VER-Y-THING! They tell you exactly how to pull them in and date them. And they don’t even know they are doing that. So, listen.

Try it out and let me know if it works for you!